The Truth About Thursday Night Openings

Chelsea Openings

Thursday December 18th

The truth about Thursday night gallery openings in Chelsea, no one is looking at the art. The attendees of these events are mostly divided into two categories, friends of the artists and the New Yorkers who got hip to the free drinks and artcal. The best part about these nights are the two hours of free wine and conversation with the other characters and assholes that have their list of the openings and their third refill.

On this particular night, my friend Ashley and I showed up on 23rd street at 6 o'clock for the rat race. At the first gallery we met a CUNY professor who recommended books on pagan rituals and herbal spells. We then moved on to 25th street where we ran into Ashley's favorite, Jeffery, who she has run into almost every time she goes to galleries. He is an eccentric old man with a long white beard, sequin scarf and entourage. He introduced us to a man with a hand fetish who offered to massage Ash's hand while we walked around the gallery, he even had lavender scented oil with him. At the next show I met Nina, a 60 year old German woman who had found three digital cameras during the day. I showed her how to work her new gadgets while sipping on free sangria. 

I have gone to gallery openings on thursday night for years not for the art but for the whole spectacle of it. There is nothing better than free drinks while chatting with strangers that you've come to know over the weeks in buildings filled with floors of artwork. To be honest I would not be able to remember a single artist if I had not made it a habit to grab a postcard from each show we go to.

My favorite quote of the night came from a homeless man that passed us on the way out of a show, who said, while holding his mojito, "every time I look in the mirror I see a beautiful young woman, but they tell me I'm crazy, really I am quite beautiful." While there are always trendy 30 year olds and gallery workers, the best people to converse with are the sketchy ones that you know are only there for the drinks. 

Nothing beats the openings, but if you really wanna see the exhibits in Chelsea go during the day on Saturday, all of the galleries are open and its a lot quieter.

EXHIBIT 101 NOW: Introduction

Identity review: I am an 19 year art school drop out from new york city, considering returning to that revered culture and leaving behind my pursuit of a new england liberal arts education. Existential crisis or just confusion? who knows, its probably just the age. 

One thing I am certain of at this point, I go to art shows and leave with at least one thing to say. My mother, who is current starting her own blog concerning menopausal beauty tips convinced me to start my own and channel my criticisms/observations. You have a lot more free time out of art school and in a regular college of arts and sciences, so I figure why not at least give it a shot. 

My hope is that someone might actually read some of my rants, or rather "posts", and check out the shows.